Archive for November, 2008

The Best and the Worst

Cast your vote for both polls. And if you think there is something that should have been a choice leave a comment on what should have been included!

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Great relationship, better future

A lot of people try so hard to make a relationship work but the problem is, is if you need to try THAT hard, perhaps it just isn’t meant to be. Other just know when they are happy together and if it will work. In a time when Internet dating is becoming more popular and people seem to get married younger and younger, one couple found that being themselves and not rushing into anything worked for their advantage.

Jackie and Steve are a young 30’s couple who have been married for about 3 years. The have a one year old baby and plan on having another one sometime in the next year or so.

Anthony: So how did everything work for your guys that you were able to take your relationship this far?

Steve: Well, we met in college through friends and hit it off really well together. We both had a lot of work between us but when we had time, we spent it together and never tried to make the other rush to hang out because it was such an emergency. We were both understanding of the others school and work issues.

Jackie: And we both knew that school doesn’t last forever. If we wanted to be with each other there was always something after and we could deal with not seeing each other for a few days at a time.

Anthony: So after school was over and you had more time for each other, how did things go?

Jackie: They went really well. Things picked up even more. We had more dates together and more time to be alone and not worry so much about what was due in class next week and we could really just focus on us and what our lives were becoming. And the important thing was, we never rushed anything. We never said we HAVE to move in together or we HAVE to get married.

Steve: I didn’t want to be that couple that got married because we were in love and couldn’t wait. As great as starting a family is and everything, you have to really ask yourself “Ok, if we get married then what?” Because i see kids getting married before they’re out of college and just go insane. They don’t understand the problems they cause down the road.

Anthony: What kind of problems do you mean?

Steve: The number one thing is money problems. If you truly love someone as much as i love Jack, then a piece of paper saying your married is just a bonus down the road. I don’t think a lot of these kids think that far ahead. And its very weird of me saying “those kids” when I was one of them not too long ago. (laughs) As great as it is to start a family and want to have a relationship that last forever, rushing things could put that in jeopardy.

Anthony: If you can say one thing to all those young kids and adults who are beginning to get serious with each other, what would it be?

Jackie:Don’t be jealous or over protective. Especially in school I know people can feel like others are trying to take you girlfriend of boyfriend but trust them enough that they can go out with friends and still come back to you at night. If they cant do that then the hell with them. (laughs)

Steve: That and never rush. Again, if i asked Jack to marry me earlier then when i had, we might not have things so easy now or as strong of a relationship.

Anthony: Thank you very much for your time and I wish you best best with your family.

Dress to Impress

First impressions are always important from the business world to dating. And one of the things that the person you are meeting for the first time notices, are the clothes you are wearing and how you are presenting yourself. Women have the ability to wear next to nothing and grab the attention of every man in the room and those that she passes on the streets. But as great of a way as that is to get a guy to start talking to you and show him how good you look, he will instantly start thinking of what kind of girl you really are.

A lot of men who met girls at bars and clubs usually see a majority of women with short tight skirts and low cut tops. Although there’s nothing to complain about from a guys point of view, women can’t get angry when men assume that they are asking for attention by how they are dressing. Is it a fair assumption? No. Does it happen a lot? All the time. If you just like the attention continue to wear the next to nothing outfits, but be prepared to get the guys who will assume you are easy.

The best thing you can wear out or just on a first date, are a pair of nice jeans and any kind of top which won’t reveal to much. Girls, if you are good looking, it really won’t matter too much of what you are wearing. Looking like you didn’t just walk off the runway will actually make you more approachable and more likely men will want to talk to you because you look good and not because you look like your easy. Because that will not lead to a long term relationship at all.

Online Dating

A lot of people are turning to on-line dating services such as eHarmony, Match.com, and Chemistry.com to find people they have things in common with. Although it gives you an easier way to find someone in the area you may have not met otherwise, sites like these don’t ever truly know the person they are matching you up with before hand.

It seems people have gotten more lazy and would rather have a search engine pair them up with someone rather then going out and meeting people for themselves. When you meet someone, you can see who they are by what they dress, how the act, even how they talk, with an on-line dating profile, you get only what they decided to put on the website. When person’s profile gives their hobbies and what they like, who’s to say they didn’t make something they think some one ELSE would like to hear. If you need to think about what someone would like to hear from reading your profile, you have already lied to tons of people about who you are.

And probably the worst thing of all, many of these sites require you to pay to put your name and profile out to potential dates. A date isn’t always guaranteed. So why even pay? Do yourself a favor and save yourself some money and wasted energy and just get out in the real world and look for yourself. If you can’t be social to get a date, how long do you think you can make a relationship last?

Moving in Together

Sharing the same house or apartment together is a huge step forward for any couple. But people need to ask themselves if it is too soon and if it’s what they want. 

The move should only be for couple who are very serious about their relationship and see themselves together in the future. Living together just because your going out could complicate things because you will now have the stress of keeping up with house details among your other daily activities.

If you do choose to live with someone however, there are way to make sure you can have an easy start up and transition into a daily routine. Obviously you must make sure this is what you want. This is your first big decision together and to work together you must want the same thing. If you are happy that a move in is in the process, everything will come easier and with less stress.

As I stated before, make sure you are serious about the relationship before and before big choices like these are made. Couples going out for only 4 months probably shouldn’t be making a big jump like this. Be smart and patient. If you both care about each other a lot and neither one of sees a reason why your going to break up, then maybe it could be time to start TALKING about a move in. The hardest part about moving in together is the commitment and process of get it over with. After that there is no right way to start living as a couple in a new home although there can be tips here and there to make everything easier. But to commit to a house together means you should have already committed to each other.

Getting Back Together?

Breaking up is always hard to do, especially if the person doing the breaking up is unsure if they are making the right move. Some time apart from each other can be good at times that way you can each cool off and have time to yourself to think about what the relationship means to you. But does not being with that person make you more or less happy?

Getting back together with your ex isn’t always the easiest or smartest thing to do but there are ways to make it happen. What you need to understand the most is that the reason the break up happened is because one of you wanted more space from the other. Respect that. If you feel a mistake was made don’t rush back to your ex saying you need to get back together.

Instead be there for when they want to talk but also enjoy your single life for a bit and some time out with new people and good friends. Give it a few weeks and take some time to think it over by yourself and someone you can really trust. Even though they may not help, saying what is on your mind out loud to someone helps you understand the situation more yourself.

If you both kept in  good contact with each other over the pasing weeks and are more happy, talk with them face to face about maybe giving it another try. Admit your mistakes and why you miss them. If it doesn’t work out then perhaps you can remain friends and see if anything evolves in the future. If you both feel like the time off did you good, you may be starting your old relationship anew.

The Long Distance Relationship

A long distance relationship is something that people usualy try once. Once because they have so many problems with it and never want to try it again. There are ways to make it work if you truely want to be with someone but the thing that people need to ask themselves, “Are we going to be together at some point in the near future?”

If the answer is yes, then your long distance relationship just may work. Keeping in touch over the phone and e-mail, and traveling to see each other will only work for so long. Phone calls become boring. The same with e-mail. Although it is fun to talk, the interaction you have with another person can never be replicated. The scarce visits make you feel rushed and looking forward to the next time, while you lose the fun in the current visit.

For many women, trust becomes an issue because many of them feel men cheat most of the time since they don’t get to see each other so often. It’s a common thing for women to suspect but if it becomes the only thing you talk about on your daily calls, it may be time to end it. Why bother staying in a relationship where you are constantly being accused of cheating when you can’t even talk face to face?

If you are the type of person that likes being with you other half more then once every few weeks, then long distance relationships probably aren’t your thing. Avoid situations like these were most of them probably won’t work out anyway. You can’t have a serious relationship with someone and expect to move forward as a couple if you are struggling just to see eachother. If you aren’t there physically, you can’t fully commit.